Elly Lily: I am ready

Tuesday, November 8

I am ready

This year everything has changed
The me from the start is a stranger next to the me now
but, like strangers the more you talk, and unravel your thoughts you become friends
and that is what I have been doing

I have grown away from myself but like a circle I have come back around and met again
I have grown so much.
I have grown to love myself and to be content with being alone
There is so much more that I have yet to face and learn
but right now I look back with who I have become and I am happy

I am proud of myself
I feel it is important to realize your struggles and what you have overcome

Like all struggles you don't just forget about them and move on
it takes time
there will be times when you look at one thing and feel sad and alone
times that you don't feel worth it or you don't feel able
but you are.

In our life we are endlessly growing and changing
We form new ideas and inspirations and then those change
and those change
in our single lifetime we become different souls and people

and that is okay.
change is okay.

Lately I have been feeling both ready for change and unsure of how to change
I have been changing from day to day
month to month
year to year
and I want to become my "ideal self"
but I don't want to stay that way
because I want to change
I want to allow myself to become whoever I want

So now.
In many different moments
sitting in the car watching the trees pass by
listening to music or the sound of birds
standing before the ocean. watching. thinking. existing

I am ready to unpack my bags
to allow myself to travel freely

I am ready to let the ocean wash away my fears
something that has held me back for so long
I have let it take control of me for so long

the fear of loss
holds me back
I am scared of losing ideas
I am scared of losing motivations
scared of losing inspirations
scared of losing friends
and family
and scared of losing myself

I am ready to let fear go
to let it float away with the waves
spread in the deep blue waters and disappear
it is not needed

I am ready to let myself live
I am ready to make myself proud
to grow

Letting go is scary
it means you aren't holding onto anything
it means you fall
but you can also fly

I am ready to let go
let the waves wash away my fears
hold onto my heart
what makes it love
and fly

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